Hope

I'm not generally a hopeful person. I 'm not a doomsdayer either, but I'd like to believe I'm realistic.  I told my dad over and over again that Obama would be our next president and knew that we had no hope. And here it is (well, weeks later...).  Honestly, I couldn't write about it before this.  I've seen so many people shedding tears of happiness, and I've read blogs where people discuss hope and a new future, and I just don't see it.  It almost pains me to see these things- I feel like people are delusional in a way.  While I haven't lived a very long life, and I've barely been around for any important elections, this one didn't feel as pivotal to me as it does to the rest of the American population.  A person with darker skin was running. Great. He's not really African American, but that doesn't really matter anyway.  

I hate to say these things, but a respected friend once told me she could feel evil in people. At the time I wasn't sure I believed her. But I see evil in Obama ("Obama's gonna change the wooooorld").  I could be crazy, but I swear I do. Its not because of all the rumors that have been flying around about where he came from or what he knows... something just feels wrong about him.  And he's the new leader of our country.

Now, I suppose this shouldn't be surprising to me. Lets face it, we live in a world consumed with evil, so much that its often difficult to distinguish the truth. Right and wrong. Good and evil. Truth and falsities.  

I worry about our country, and I worry about my friends and family (hopefully not!) that buy into all of this. 

7 reasons to vote for Rossi

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=684699

I don't care what they say, I like her.

Jenna got a job.

I started my job this week and the results are positive thus far.  I like the environment and I like the people I work with. Although everyone seems to be stressed out this week, they somehow manage to keep in good spirits and suck it up.  Whenever I got irritated with the lazy people at Overlake I was told that these people I would have to deal with my whole life.  Ironically, everyone around me seems hard at work all day regardless of the stress levels.  Lazy lifeguards, you have no chance in the real world. 

I never really worried about getting a job.  Not like I was pompous or overly confident about it- I wasn't at all.  I'm thoroughly convinced that God puts me at peace when I least expect it, especially about things like this.  The day of the interview I lost all nervousness and gave intelligent responses... so out of character for me... Perhaps this was all part of some master plan.  

Ultimately, I'm very satisfied.  

Man of the people:

Weird.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0MXs1E7-8

Executive Decisions

I'm seriously considering boycotting my daily gossip until the November election is over. Perez Hilton is a flaming liberal, and his dislike of Sarah Palin is getting on my nerves.  Its all that his page has become. 

http://perezhilton.com/2008-09-06-more-drama-for-sexy-sarah

RIDICULOUS.  Like McCain would have ever picked her if this were true. 

I could create an entire Anti-Diddy blog, but I won't.

No wonder I've always been taught rap culture is "bad."

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid285859616/bclid294430730/bctid1767973083

Oh, John.

I'm a firm believer in not blogging unless you have something interesting to blog about.  People don't want to hear that you ate some red meat, thought about going for a run, and then finally settled into some Chitty Chitty Bang Bang on ABCFamily.  No one cares. Well, at least, I wouldn't care.  This may be one of those fatty, fat, television show filled blogs because thats all I did this weekend. 

I went to visit Tim's family this weekend in Bend.  The one clear difference between a male and female house is the food that is consumed.  This weekend was a red meat weekend.  I am this close (-) to disowning red meat for the rest of my life (except for McDonald's hamburgers, but those really don't constitute animal meat anyway, do they?). Friday night we had ribs. Saturday night we had barbecued hamburgers, and Sunday we had rib-eye steaks.  Meat.  Enough for a year. Tim was in seventh heaven. 

So we ate. And ate. And ate. 

And afterwards, I got in a heated discussion with Tim's millionaire uncle about the sanctity of life. And Obama the antichrist.  The fun part of that is Tim's mother clearly told me there would be no political discussions that evening. I believe she said, "Do not talk politics." But, I am my father's daughter and am unable to steer clear when the opportunity presents itself.

So what did I learn? Democrats love the idea of "tolerance," which CLEARLY I am not.  We should tolerate others (because one person killing an unborn child does not affect me, so I shouldn't bother), after all, its the law so it must be okay! Dad, that was for you... wish you could have been there to hear it. 

The lesson for this week is tolerance. I should probably learn to mind my own business and be tolerant of other people's choices. Maybe this will come with old age.  The close-mindedness that comes with being a Republican is so hard to handle sometimes. 

Well, he had to do something.

I'm a firm believer in the idea that Barack Obama will quickly and easily defeat John McCain in November.  McCain even knows it... That's why he chose a female running mate with less than 2 years experience.  They're still going to lose.  I think it was the only thing he could have done to shock people in this campaign, and BIG SURPRISE he did it the morning after Obama's "historic speech" at the democratic convention (which, by the way, made me want to vomit when I saw this morning in the newspaper, and I still don't understand why a "call for change" is historic... whatever). 

At least I like her.  She seems like the type of person I would like to run for president, and I suppose she makes McCain look like a better option. 

Obama's camp had a lovely, jealous, and intelligent response to the whole situation. Obama campaign spokesman Bill Burton warned that McCain had "put the former mayor of a town of 9,000 with zero foreign policy experience a heartbeat away from the presidency." Way to be. 

Maybe McCain isn't as dumb as he looks.  

"Barack has Chosen"

I guess I don't really get it. Perhaps Obama is just trying to get the moderate vote by choosing Joe Biden. Obviously, the war in Iraq is a key issue in this election, and Barack has made it clear he wants to get out of there ASAP (" So when I am Commander-in-chief, I will set a new goal on day one: I will end this war"-Barackobama.com). Biden doesn't even want to get us out of there. "Change you can believe in"... why would anyone believe in you?

Whatever, I don't care.. but I do find the John McCain commercials to be not only entertaining, but lovely and stupid.

Murderer.

A little startled there, aren't you?

For my father.

I made an executive decision today.  As much as I enjoy coaching, the hours that I would need to devote to a coaching job are less than ideal.  The IST swim coach called me today and I told him I am no longer interested in the job.  It seemed like the perfect opportunity to officially enter the coaching world, but since Tim works until 4, I really don't want to start my job at 430.  My days would be spent in the house while the rest of my friends work 40 hours a week.  I officially decided I need a normal job for the sake of our relationship. Sad, but true.  

So begins the rest of the job search. I have yet to hear a decision from Sharebuilder, but I would be satisfied if I did or did not get the job.  Regardless of the outcome, I faced my fears of interviewing and feel as if I was a success in that aspect.  I'm still encountering the same problems though: what do I want to do with my life?  I remember in high school when 9th grade life skills teachers encouraged us to take test after test, which should determine where our skills lie.  They were meant to give us direction, but I was too young to seriously contemplate that direction. I was told I should be a lawyer or a teacher, two occupations that would definitely not suit me.  Then again, in college I was forced to pick a major which was meant to also guide me in my pursuit of a career.  Unfortunately, it has done nothing but confuse me more.  For some reason though, I feel like God has put my mind at ease.  I keep telling myself that I need to continue to anxiously look for jobs, but am somehow failing.  Last month I was looking religiously.  Maybe thats one of the abilities God has given me though, the ability to keep a low stress level when things seem out of my control... it was that way with college at least.  Or maybe I'm just too laid back for my own good.  I guess we'll see.  I at least feel at peace with my decision to not be a swim coach.

Alyssa, Erin and I booked tickets to Hawaii last night and I'm so excited that we'll be going in less than three weeks.  It will be a must-needed vacation and a good last-hurrah to my life as an unemployed college kid.  

I need to do something amazing.

I have this itching to do something amazing and new.  Perhaps join a swim team. Perhaps get a job.  Perhaps have the afternoons off. 

I think I'm getting antsy with working two jobs.  I'm ready for the summer to end. 

Any suggestions?

So tired...

Really, I hate working so much, but I'm unable to give up anymore of my hours or responsibilities.  I'm so tired.  Every night I get home I lay on the couch for about twenty minutes and go to sleep.  Then I wake up (still tired).  I have so much to do that I'll never get to. 

I need to go to the grocery store. 

I need to fold that last load of laundry. 

It would be nice if I would iron some of Tim's pants so he can actually wear them. 

I should clean my downstairs. 

I need to workout. 

I still need to go to work (until 10 most likely, and I started this morning at 730). Kill me now. 

The job search has been slightly disappointing.  I applied for a high school swim coaching position at Bellevue and had an interview.  In this interview, I realized I don't want to coach high school swimming, because if I did it I would need another job, and I never want to work two jobs again.  I also learned I don't respect the coach of Bellevue, so even if it was something that would workout for me, I wouldn't ever want to work with him.  It was good practice for interviewing though, seeing that I'm horrendous at that. 

"I want to cut his [beeping] nuts off."

Besides the "its a great year to be black" statement, this one is my favorite. 

Its a great time to be a liberal too, apparently. I wish I had the nerve to publicly endorse someone, and then hate on him in private. Such nerve, these democrats. 

Its a great year to be black.

This is the best thing ever.  Mainly the beginning- the end is kind of vulgar. 

diddy obama
by dollarsandsense123

Idiots.

I hate watching the news. 

Gas prices. 

People getting laid off. 

Struggling economy. 

Obama/ McCain (barf!). 

Going Green. 

Lindsey Lohan and her lesbian lover. 

I hate reading it, watching it, thinking about it and talking about it. Yes, the economy isn't wonderful, but its not HORRENDOUS either, and I'm sick of hearing about it. 

I also hate that people think they are so hip and new if they are concerned about these things. Newsflash, you're not hip, you're a follower.

I really am just sick of all the "world is going to hell and we'll never get it back" crap. 

...Just like I thought.

What a psycho. Thank you for proving to me once and for all of your Christian beliefs.  Apparently you can smear "your own" religion for the sake of political gain (or just lie, whatever).  Barack Obama, you sicken me. 

Everyone is trying to make a political statement.

Last night I went to go see the kids movie, Wall-e.  I was excited for some clean, entertaining Disney/Pixar fun, but what I got was a movie loaded with liberal psychobabble.  It begins with a world that has been taken over by big business and garbage.  Humans were so wasteful that earth was destroyed and everyone had to move to space. In space, every person has become horribly obese and can't get out of their wheelchair gadget things.  I kind of wonder what its teaching children.  I guess it COULD be a powerful message, "Children, now lets not waste our resources, trash the earth and become lazy fat people..." but it came across as pretty harsh and slightly obnoxious. Its kind of like the going GREEN phenomenon that has been sweeping the country.  The movie is probably endorsed by uber-hypocrite Al Gore. 

I thought of this during the looooong drive from Lake Forest Park to Medina today, when "Handlebars" by the Flobots came onto the radio.  The song begins like a joke, stating, "I can ride my bike with no handlebars, no handlebars," yet towards the end, the Flobots (who came up with that name anyway?) lead singer begins to scream, 

"I can hand out a million vaccinations

Or let'em all die in exasperation
Have'em all grilled leavin lacerations
Have'em all killed by assassination
I can make anybody go to prison
Just because I don't like'em and
I can do anything with no permission
I have it all under my command
I can guide a missile by satellite
By satellite
By satellite
and I can hit a target through a telescope
Through a telescope
Through a telescope
and I can end the planet in a holocaust
In a holocaust"

Ridiculous. Yes,  we're pretty much horrible people because of technological advances and order. Ridiculous. 

Flobots, how about Anarchy? The probably just hate Bush like 75% (allegedly) of the US population. 

What really irritates me is that people don't even notice these things. I read numerous reviews of Wall-e before I went to the theater and none of them mentioned the political undertones, most likely because they agreed so fully that it just went over their heads.  Also, the radio refuses to acknowledge what the Flobots song is really about.  BS liberal propaganda. 

Sigh. Barack Obama went to the gym today and ran on the treadmill with his ipod... my hero. 

The most ridiculous and immature thing I've seen today.

http://blog.peta.org/archives/2008/06/top_five_reason.php?c=pfjsrem08

I need a real job.

Back to real life, finally. 

While I wanted to come back, life back in the real world is busy. I'm getting of sick of working til 8 at night when Tim has to go to bed around 10. 

I'm looking forward to getting a real job where I only work until 5 or 6. 

I got the professional photos back from the wedding, to look go to photobyeva.com, click clients, Jenna and Tim. The login name is jenna and the password is 60108. 

I feel like I should have something important or interesting to say, but unfortunately, no. 

On a honeymoon.

Finally. Married.

Let me tell you, it seemed like the road to getting married took forever... until the last 2 weeks, when time flew by so quickly I felt unable to accomplish anything. I was pretty sure the wedding might be a failure since there was so much to do the day of and the day before, but alas, our mother's seemed to do everything for us, and the wedding went off without a hitch. I almost felt proud of myself for planning an event like that. Its the last you will ever see of my planning skills, thats for sure. I hope we got good pictures.

Our honeymoon has been fabulous. We got to our first class resort the night of the second, and upon inspection of the room, discovered live moth larvae underneath one of the pillows- one that Tim had just laid his head on. So of course, we call the front desk and demand a new room. Being the lovely fellows that they are, they upgraded us to a suite with the best view I've ever seen. It was an amazingly quiet and perfect 5 days on the Northshore, with people waiting on us hand and foot. Needless to say, we loved it and got far too used to the constant attention.
Since we aren't going to another island, we decided that maybe we should change hotels-Waikiki. We get to our hotel and the beach and want to shoot ourselves. While the hotel and staff are nice and friendly, its not the same as our $550 a night suite with a view (This hotel is one or two blocks up from the beach). Although I wouldn't want to be on the beach, because the beach is a heinous excuse for a beach. I don't remember Waikiki being overrun with whitetrash America (by the way, white trash Americans love to flaunt their sagging red/purple breasts, trashy blonde hair, and robust bellies. These women are everywhere.). Since having dropped off our rental car, we are stuck. We even took a bus today.
Not going to lie though, conditions are improving. We took about a 2 mile jaunt down the beach to a calmer area and visited the war memorial and the mall, we just miss living in the lap of luxury.

In other news, marriage is fabulous. We got a massage the other day and I had to sign my name "Jenna Coughlin"- something I wasn't prepared to do. I'm kind of excited to change my name though, so I can sign everything that way. Its odd how ready I am to do that. Sigh, I wish I could be a feminist, but that belongs to the lesbians and their liberal friends (this is my blog, I'm allowed to be politically incorrect. Political correctness is for people that need it).

Anyway, if you want something from the ABC store, hit me up. I can get you a plastic flower or some "Hawaii" stationary. Or I can send you a picture of us in Hawaii, maybe spark some jealousy within. ALOOOOOOOOOOHA.

There's a lot to do.

I'm getting married soon, and I have a fabulous sunglasses tan line from Sunday that makes me look like I have these huge, white raccoon eyes. Highly attractive. 

I graduated. I'm like a real, live person now.  Whoohoo. 

We have a home. It too is fantastic... although plain because we're poor and have no decorations whatsoever... minus the painting that I managed to commandeer from the backseat of my mother's car. 

This home makes me so happy, because there is no Welch to mess up the countertops with peanut butter/crumbs/poop. Dishes actually get done. There is no stench. 

I had a "bachelorette party." Sort of. I can't lie, I'm kind of disappointed about the whole thing. It was fun, but it wasn't a bachelorette party, minus the undies from Laura or the hideous springtime veil. If I could change the way things went, I definitely would. I suppose if that is the only thing I'm upset about, I shouldn't complain.  Not gonna lie, things should have been different.  I have very good friends though, who tried to make the best of the situation. 

I get married soon. KD keeps reminding me how many days are left.

 

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows.

I walked through campus today. Its in the mid-70s, the sun was shining and the grass was once again green. I wondered if I would miss it, if this beautiful campus held memories that I was walking away from... I wondered if I should be sad.  Turns out, I'm not. While I tried to bring on some feeling of sadness or regret, I just couldn't muster it.  I'm not sad. My ecstatic feelings are genuine. I'm ready to move on with life (!) and I couldn't be happier to be getting out of this place.  I almost forgot that the Whitworth I go to is not the Whitworth of sunshine and sunbathers (although I'm glad for this one... so tacky to be laying out in a swim suit in front of your DORM).  The Whitworth I attended (ooooh past tense) was cold, wet, and snowy and I hated every minute of weather. I think I would have been happier here, had the sun been shining through the trees everyday like it did today, and like it will this weekend. 

I'm glad the sun came out for our send off.  I want to leave on a good note, and I want to look back on my college experience as worthwhile. I sometimes forget that I'm graduating- that I've completed a feat. I've been so preoccupied with getting out of here that I forgot to remember I did something and I did it well.  I'm looking forward to being successful in something I actually enjoy. 

I'm sorry for everyone that this month is Jenna month. I know I take up time, weekend after weekend dedicated to me, myself and I.  

I have so many things to be thankful for, and look forward to, I think graduation is just last on my list. Quite frankly, I'm dreading the actual ceremony.

Here it comes... the excitement begins.

It doesn't feel so long ago, when the snow covered the ground and our wedding was over 100 days away (according to my knot calculator thing... I don't just count the days by myself). But now, the sun is shining almost on a daily basis, I have a week left of school, and I'm getting married in 22 days. Its kind of getting so close I don't know what to do with myself.  I feel like I should be doing something, but I'm not.  We are now premarital counseling graduates.  We made it through all the homework/busywork and now are on our way to getting married. 

In other news, we bought a huge bed and its now in my room. Its sooo comfortable and huge, so much better than my ikea bed. It was the deal of all deals too, a $3000 bed for $650. Its going to be sooo much fun to move! We have to rent a Uhaul. Joyous. 

So I'm getting married in less than a month... pretty crazy I think. When I think hat we've been engaged for over 7 months, I don't really know where the time went. Things are sure coming together though, I finally bought favors (Godiva, yummm) and Bridesmaids gifts. All thats left is really paying down deposits, finding a bracelet, and printing programs. 

I am slightly irritated though, Royal won't call me back (its been days and days and I've called him probably 4-5 times...) and I have no idea if I'm having a Bachelorette party or if he has gotten fitted for his tux (which was supposed to happen before April 29th, but I doubt it has).  This normally doesn't happen, and I'm starting to think something's wrong with him. Honestly, I'm going to be kind of angry if nothing is.  

Tim got a better job at Boeing, so thats kind of sweet. After he's trained and confident in what he's doing, he'll be able to be a virtual worker, meaning he can work from home, which would be nice for him. 

I've been kind of down for the past few days, not because of things that are going on in my own life, but because of things that are going on in my family.  Things that cannot be fixed and will take time to get over... sigh. 

Turns out we won't be living in a cardboard box...

We found a home this weekend! It just so happens to take a lot of stress off my shoulders- I was beginning to give up on finding a place we would actually LIKE living and about to settle for some insanely over-priced, Indian-food smelling apartment in Bellevue.  

Here it is: Timmy and Jenna's new abode: http://seattle.craigslist.org/est/apa/651147172.html

It just kind of makes everything more exciting... knowing what kind of furniture will fit there and knowing where we'll end up.  Seeing that we graduate in like 3 weeks, it was pretty important. Tim really didn't want to live at my house for a few days after graduation, and now he won't have to. 

In other news, we did 3x1000's this morning at masters. It was pretty much torture in the most brutal form. Those darn triathletes, they ruin everything with their distance. 

I tried on my dress yesterday and remembered why I loved it so much. Its perfect, and I feel very satisfied with my choice. I was worried it might get old and not as exciting, but I think I actually like it more now than I did before. Now I just need a sweet bracelet and I'm practically set.

Positivity.

I think I've been getting less headaches. I can't pinpoint the reasons why, but I'm assuming its most likely due to getting less sleep. Being the avid sleeper that I am, when I get a lot of sleep I don't move in the middle of the night. I go to sleep in one position and wake up 8 hours later in that same position. Now that I don't get 8 hours of sleep, I'm in that position less. Or it may just be the fact that I'm swimming every morning and warming up my muscles. It would be interesting to find out. I've been thinking about this recently, and noticing that when I don't wake up for swimming in the morning, I sleep at least 4 more hours and have a headache at some point during the day. Except these headaches are unusual because they are based at the front of my head, instead of the base of my head. Its sad that self-diagnosing is doing more for me than any doctor has... sigh.

In other news, only 3 weeks of school left until I'm a college graduate!

The Power of the Lord

Ever since this year began, I've been praying about our money situation.  We knew we'd need to save, and after I started saving, one of my jobs ended, making it almost impossible for me to put aside any money.  We prayed consistently with our parents and with our premarital training couple that God would make a way for us financially, and that we wouldn't have to worry about him taking care of us.  Of course, we did worry. I've been setting aside my pennies, putting every quarter and dime into a jar, knowing that every bit counts (I actually have over 50 bucks in there).  

Last night Tim won the business plan competition, which means a prize of $10,000.  It just makes me think how wonderful the Lord is, and how I should work to lean on him more in times like this. I forget that God promises to take care of his followers, and I suppose I didn't believe it.  God didn't only provide for our necessities, but now has completely dissolved my stress.  This is one of those times when I am totally amazed by the power of the Lord, and can't help but be in awe of his greatness. 

What is the world coming to?

http://yaledailynews.com/story.html

Tomorrow is my birthday.

And I think a lot of people have forgotten. Oh, well I suppose I've almost forgotten as well.  With all the other things going in my life, I don't really have time to celebrate a birthday. 

Yesterday was a beautiful day that reached 82 degrees. It was perfect. Today, it rains, ruining the happiness that was yesterday. 

I just feel down these days, I think its because I hate what I'm doing with my life. I'm really unhappy with school, especially this semester. I'm having a difficult time finding the motivation to do schoolwork when I find so much joy in doing other things.  I know a lot of people have problems finding motivation, but I really feel like I hate it.  Its not like I just want to sit around, but I don't feel like I'm learning anything from most of my classes. I have the hardest time writing poems and essays on policy that I don't even believe in, and its driving me insane. I know I should just suck it up and get through it, but I feel like I would rather cut off my little toe.  Really. I know I say this at the end of every year, but I honestly would prefer to make that deal with someone. Maybe I should toss it around in the English department and see how it goes. 

If only the sun would come out, then maybe I would feel a little better. Perhaps I have SAD. Or perhaps I'm just tired from waking up at 5, and have no energy for anything else. 

The end is so near, I just need to stick it out and hope for the best. 

I'm just hardcore.

Today was the 4th day this week that I got up for morning masters practice. Yesterday I meant to get up, but fell asleep after my alarm went off. Its pretty sweet, I already feel like after 1.5 weeks I've made significant progress.  Its nice to be swimming again, perhaps thats because I only have to go to one practice a day. Sometimes I think I should learn to keep my competitiveness under wraps- everyone thinks I'm the most competitive person alive (...they don't even know!). 

My senioritis is getting worse. Yesterday I went to talk to one of my professors about the "senior reading." Apparently, (unbeknownst to me) all senior writing majors are supposed to read something they wrote for everyone in the English department and their families the friday after classes are done. Of course, I didn't want to do that, because getting up in front of a huge group of people and reading stories that I hate is just my favorite thing to do... right. Anyway, my professor told me I was the first person in 20 years to refuse to do the reading, but I guess he understood after awhile. I just want to get out of here, the last thing I want to do is attend all these stupid events (I'm not doing the reading, or senior breakfast or baccalaureate) which is apparently SHOCKING! to everyone I meet. Everyone thinks I have problems because I don't view these events as positive. One of my other professors told me that we should have a chat because of this. Its obnoxious, I hate how everyone thinks that I should be gung-ho about my years at Whitworth, but in reality, I just want to get out of here as fast as I can. I have more exciting things going on. 

I'm not negative, I'm just honest and open with who I am. 

In other news, I bought a fun hair clip for my wedding that has pearls and Swarovski crystals in it, and think I have officially decided against wearing a veil. I got a cute and casual rehearsal dinner dress, and I hope it works out for me. Now, I just need jewelry suggestions... sigh. At least theres some positivity here. 

Am I just a cheapskate? Probably.

I was thinking, with the hairstyle I want, I'm not quite sure I can wear a veil. Is that weird? Maybe I'd just use a cool hair thing like this one: 7524large.jpg.

Its getting so close that I actually have to make decisions like this. Its ridiculous. 

Do I need a veil? What about an aisle runner? What do you even put on programs, do you have to have them? Do you have to have cake toppers on a cupcake cake? Should I really have a hair trial when I trust the person doing my hair (I'm cheap)?  Whose going to do the chair covers? Can I really just do what I want? Sigh. 

I also stress about money. We need to rent an apartment, but we don't exactly have high paying jobs. I brought in 433 dollars last month. Once we get past the first month of rent, we'll be fine money-wise, but its pretty overwhelming at this point. I hope Tim does well in the business plan competition, it would pretty much save our lives. 

A day in the life of someone who cares.

I meant to get up this morning and go swimming, but when my alarm rang, I just couldn't do it. I made it two days in a row so far... sad but true. And I only made it yesterday morning because I went to bed at 6pm the night before. Its not my fault, our premarital counseling lasted until 1030 last night, which means I didn't get to sleep until after 11, so its justified. 

Yesterday was my last day as a Ripples coach. Ripples are the youngest swimming group on the Waves, and mine was a preripples, which pretty much means the worst of the swimmers. I was kind of looking forward to this day, because Ripples are just a hard group to coach. Some improve and some don't AT ALL, and its somewhat depressing to coach them- I never feel like I make much progress.  Anyway, I was getting frustrated because all the little girls were whispering to each other and telling secrets during the entire practice yesterday because I thought they were keeping things from each other. Turns out, they were whispering about me.  Their parents and them all got together and planned a mini-party for my last day as their coach. They made cupcakes and brought juice boxes and a card and everything.  It was so sweet, and I wasn't expecting it, especially since I'm not the best Ripples coach (I easily lose my patience). It makes me realize the impact you have on the lives of little kids, even when you don't mean to, and it makes me sad to know that they really did enjoy having me as their coach. 

Luckily, leave it to Phi (one of the little boys I've had in my group since September) to bring me out of this "Oh, I don't want to leave my Ripples group now" funk.  He says, "Bye, whatever your name is."  I pretty much had to smile and laugh that one off. 

As I count the days down to graduating and getting married, this is the one and only thing I'm not looking forward to: saying goodbye to all the kids in my developmental group.  They honestly and truly make my day, and I hate the idea that someone else is going to coach them. Every single kid in that group tries their hardest, and I'm so lucky that they were my first coaching experience.

I am whatever I say I am.

Hi Laura, I got up this morning at 5 to go to Masters swimming! You should be so proud of me. I think I may do this to the end of school... I get all competitive with the old guys. 

Its actually kind of sweet, because then I don't have to do homework at night. I can just go to bed, wake up and go to swim practice, then have like forever and a year to do my homework (I don't have class until one..) The only downside is that I love sleeping, and thats kind of devastating, but perhaps I'll get over it. 

Only a month and 14 days until I'm a college graduate. My life will forever change.  There's some crazies in my classes who are like, "I'm so sad I'm leaving college and have to go out into the real world! Its so scary!" No, it is not scary, crazies, it is fun and exciting and way cooler than living the school life. You'd think that after 16 years of school, you'd be ready to move on and do something different, I sure know I am! 

I had a bridal shower. I would have never thought my bridal shower would be the way it was, but it was nice.  A little foofy and overwhelming, but it was fun, despite the fact that three of my good friends were unable to make it.  Although I enjoyed it, and it was very nice, I'm kind of glad my wedding isn't going to be like that.  I hope I feel so comfortable and not overwhelmed with people who aren't close to me.  I think I will though. I fantasize about being able to joke and be my obnoxious self, but alas, I think I will have to be polite and hug everyone. Perhaps I should make myself a sign that says, "I know you want to hug and stuff, but I don't like being touched."  I really don't like hugging people I'm not close to. I would prefer to handshake, I have a mean handshake. Its not light and delicate, its a real manly handshake. My father would be proud. I should have put that in the invitations, "Come prepared to shake hands with the bride!" And yes, I was hugged enough as a child, but I'm still not a fan. 

We're in the 50's now. The countdown officially begins. I don't know if I can handle all the excitement, I'm just too stoked. 

Now, it just needs to get warm outside.  

Barack Obama and Other Evils.

I was watching The View this morning, and it made me think... even Elisabeth Hasselbeck said she wanted to vote for him. Oh, brother. 

http://www.barackobamaantichrist.blogspot.com/

I think this website is sure interesting.  Like the author says, he is just exploring the idea, but it is interesting to think about.  How is one person captivating so many when he isn't saying anything different than Hillary?  If you compare Obama and Clinton's websites, you have to admit that there isn't a huge difference in their beliefs. Quite frankly, you would be hard pressed to find any major differences at all.  He has no revolutionary ideas, but its simply his personality which is so appealing to so many people. 

I suppose it is a far out idea, but makes me think how Christians are generally pretty afraid when it comes to talking about the antichrist.  My mom and me were having a brief conversation about this, and she mentioned that her pastor is preaching on Revelation.  I got curious and downloaded the sermon. 

http://www.cbccross.net/site/cpage.asp?sec_id=2242&cpage_id=3367&secure=&dlyear=0&dlcat=Jerry+Mitchell (The Mark of the Beast sermon)

I think regardless of what you believe, Christians should be wary of the occurrence of these things. We never know when Christ will return, or when the antichrist will terrorize the world, but perhaps we should never forget that they're both on their way, sooner or later.  

The Aura of Stress

I'm feeling stressed and I'm not quite sure why I feel this way. I don't really have that much to do, but for some reason I feel like I do. 

I think its kind of my bridal shower... I know people are coming, but they aren't RSVPing to Kelli and its stressing me out.  I'm worried people just won't come or something.  

I started our invitations, it only took like 20 minutes to assemble them all, which was sweet. Now I just have to address them and wait for Timmy to put food cards in them. YAY. 

We're going to look at apartments today and tomorrow, which I actually AM excited for... 

Sigh. 

 

The world is again at peace.

I did a full workout today.  It was the first time in a long time where I did a bunch of cardio and lifted weights. Tim always begs me to go to the gym with him, but when I do, we get lazy, do a half hour of cardio and leave, so it was nice to stay and workout by myself. 

Suddenly, I feel like everything is coming together.  All I really have to do these days is whip through my homework and find a place to live.  We found a few places we like, and are hoping to visit during spring break and get our living situation worked out. 

I'm getting antsy now that I have nothing to do.  I got used to having 50 big things on my mind to do for the wedding, and now all I have to do is find dresses for various occasions. I almost wonder, is it really this easy? Everyone says wedding planning is so stressful, but I think thats only the people that make it so.  I know that I've had my stressful moments (bridesmaids dresses, invitations, registering, etc) but I don't think I'm bothering with all the details.  My wedding may not be as perfect as it could if I had bothered with details, but I'm more about the actual commitment than the party. Its not even a party, its really just dinner. Lets be honest. 

I'm looking forward to going home and getting some things sorted out. I'm sick of school (I have a terrible case of senioritis). I don't know how many times I say that in a day. But its true. 

I was looking on theknot.com the other day (yes, I'm one of those lame-o's) and am surprised to what the world is coming to.  There was a post about strippers and 90% of the girls were perfectly fine with their fiance/husbands going to a strip club, "You can look but you can't touch." I also heard that if I don't think my fiance is going to do those things (go to strip clubs, watch porn), I'm just insane and not being honest with myself.  It just makes me see things in a different light.  I live in this Whitworth bubble, where I almost feel rebellious sometimes, and I'm not.  It makes me realize I want there to be a stark contrast between me and the rest of the world.  Sad, but true.  It makes me think of Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot and his family running away from the sinful world and how important that story is at a time like this. Even my Christian friends outside of Whitworth have conformed to the ideas of the world.  It makes me so sad to hear stories, knowing that they could be so much better than they think.  I remember in high school, there were two girls who I looked up to above everyone else. They were on fire for God, and claimed they would never conform to the patterns of the world.  I don't know what happened, but they did, and I'm sad that I have no one to look up to anymore. Not to say I haven't done things I'm ashamed of, or haven't conformed at times, but it just makes me sorrowful. There's almost no other words to describe it. 

Oops, I went off on a tangent.

Life-Changing

Sigh... I'm getting married in 73 days, can you believe it? I can't. Its so close, yet so far away. Which actually means I graduate in less than 2 months... YAY.  So many exciting things are going on with graduation, getting married, going to Hawaii, and starting  a new job. I just can't wait for it all to happen. I want to start my real life already. 

On a more somber note, I'm poorer than poor. There's a lot to pay for that I don't have money for. Bridesmaids gifts, parents gifts, honeymoon money, and my hair.  I'm kind of sad, because I'd like to look nice for my bridal shower and stuff, but I have to wear an old dress. Which is fine, but I like new things for special occasions.  Sigh... I'm just spoiled I guess. 

Its the little things that make life stressful. 

Spring break is in 2-3 days!! 

Jenna, Strong and Mean, Hopes and Dreams

I swear Laura never read in college. I don't remember ever hearing about it, or perhaps I would have felt somewhat forewarned by my choice to be an English major. Alas, the deed has already been done and in 2 months I will never have to think about "The House of the Seven Gables" or "Wieland" again. I didn't read "Wieland," even though we had a week-long discussion of it. I wasn't an active participant.  It always amazes me how I am able to actively participate in a class conversation on a book I've never read.  Wikipedia is my guiding light, I suppose.  I don't think I'll read after I graduate. I think I'm throwing in the proverbial towel on reading, it being for saps and smart people. 

I doubt I'll quit writing though. Its funny how at some point on my journey down the English track I grew to hate writing.  I have recently discovered why.  I hate writing stories and poems.  I think stories and poems are for sissies that are way too in-tune with their emotions.  Sometimes I sit in my Poetry writing class and I hear people read their poems in their EMOTIONAL, soft voices, like their poems have so much meaning.  It makes me want to roll my eyes, stand up and yell, "Hey! You don't even know how obnoxious you sound!" And then cackle loudly.  I'm getting off-track.  I think its ironic how I'm a senior on the writing track, but have never been able to write anything fun (except for if you count my story for Fiction writing called, Boaz Strangeway, dedicated to my future dog).  In Essay writing this semester I've realized, wow, I like writing essays.  When you get to write about whatever you want, its sweet. I wrote about the death of morality, and realized I actually LIKE what I wrote, and LIKED doing it.  Then I turn to my next poetry assignment and have no idea what to actually say. I wrote a poem about how I can't write poems. It was sweet. 

I think there's so much more out there for me.  In the real world, no one will ask me to write a poem about self-realization, which makes that real world seem so bright and sunny. I look forward to gaining that kind of respect.  I also hope that I am able to be a real swim coach.  I always said I loved working with children, but didn't know what I could do besides teach (AND NO, I don't want to teach or get my masters, back up off me).  Coaching is my light in the dark.  Nothing makes me happier than when Adam Smith gets his bazillionth A time, hugs me and smiles, showing everyone all those teeth that will never grow back.  I keep thinking, well, maybe this is what God has planned for me.  Maybe when I wasn't paying attention God slipped one by me, who knows.  But I do know that I don't worry about what is planned for my life.  God has it under control, so I find no real reason to worry.  I'm going to either write scathing essays about the incompetence of politicians, or teach little ones how to swim.  Either way, He's probably got my back. 

Does God read blogs?

A day in the life of the smelly kid.

Tim likes registering. I think its quite obnoxious.  What a weird problem to have- hating to register for wedding presents. I think my mother has called me 10 times to complain about the fact that I registered for like 20 things.  I don't need anything else, I'm a minimalist.  I would just like to be well fed, not well decorated. Who decorates? Lets be honest, decorating is for fruitcakes and I am no fruitcake. 

Just for my own reference...

I ran today for 5 minutes. It was hard.

I biked for 15 minutes. Welch and I chatted it up. It was hard also. 

I did squats with 5 pound weights across the gym and back. My legs are sore. 

Our apartment smells. Perhaps its because we fail to do the dishes. The other day Tim and I wanted Welch to clean but she didn't want to, so we threw garbage all over the ground until she decided she would clean.  It only took like 2 hours. It was sweet, Tim and I were stoked we were able to tap into Rachel's psyche. 

Only 2.5 months until we get hitched.  If you're reading this, maybe you're invited, but maybe not. We can't invite everyone because my parents are in the hole (4 girls, 4 weddings, 4 college educations) so you probably aren't invited.  Unless you're my friend. 

I actually kind of enjoy our premarital counseling. Sort of. Kind of. As much as you can. 

I hate my invitations

I love my man, but sometimes wonder why he fails to bathe.