Turns out we won't be living in a cardboard box...

We found a home this weekend! It just so happens to take a lot of stress off my shoulders- I was beginning to give up on finding a place we would actually LIKE living and about to settle for some insanely over-priced, Indian-food smelling apartment in Bellevue.  

Here it is: Timmy and Jenna's new abode: http://seattle.craigslist.org/est/apa/651147172.html

It just kind of makes everything more exciting... knowing what kind of furniture will fit there and knowing where we'll end up.  Seeing that we graduate in like 3 weeks, it was pretty important. Tim really didn't want to live at my house for a few days after graduation, and now he won't have to. 

In other news, we did 3x1000's this morning at masters. It was pretty much torture in the most brutal form. Those darn triathletes, they ruin everything with their distance. 

I tried on my dress yesterday and remembered why I loved it so much. Its perfect, and I feel very satisfied with my choice. I was worried it might get old and not as exciting, but I think I actually like it more now than I did before. Now I just need a sweet bracelet and I'm practically set.

Positivity.

I think I've been getting less headaches. I can't pinpoint the reasons why, but I'm assuming its most likely due to getting less sleep. Being the avid sleeper that I am, when I get a lot of sleep I don't move in the middle of the night. I go to sleep in one position and wake up 8 hours later in that same position. Now that I don't get 8 hours of sleep, I'm in that position less. Or it may just be the fact that I'm swimming every morning and warming up my muscles. It would be interesting to find out. I've been thinking about this recently, and noticing that when I don't wake up for swimming in the morning, I sleep at least 4 more hours and have a headache at some point during the day. Except these headaches are unusual because they are based at the front of my head, instead of the base of my head. Its sad that self-diagnosing is doing more for me than any doctor has... sigh.

In other news, only 3 weeks of school left until I'm a college graduate!

The Power of the Lord

Ever since this year began, I've been praying about our money situation.  We knew we'd need to save, and after I started saving, one of my jobs ended, making it almost impossible for me to put aside any money.  We prayed consistently with our parents and with our premarital training couple that God would make a way for us financially, and that we wouldn't have to worry about him taking care of us.  Of course, we did worry. I've been setting aside my pennies, putting every quarter and dime into a jar, knowing that every bit counts (I actually have over 50 bucks in there).  

Last night Tim won the business plan competition, which means a prize of $10,000.  It just makes me think how wonderful the Lord is, and how I should work to lean on him more in times like this. I forget that God promises to take care of his followers, and I suppose I didn't believe it.  God didn't only provide for our necessities, but now has completely dissolved my stress.  This is one of those times when I am totally amazed by the power of the Lord, and can't help but be in awe of his greatness. 

What is the world coming to?

http://yaledailynews.com/story.html

Tomorrow is my birthday.

And I think a lot of people have forgotten. Oh, well I suppose I've almost forgotten as well.  With all the other things going in my life, I don't really have time to celebrate a birthday. 

Yesterday was a beautiful day that reached 82 degrees. It was perfect. Today, it rains, ruining the happiness that was yesterday. 

I just feel down these days, I think its because I hate what I'm doing with my life. I'm really unhappy with school, especially this semester. I'm having a difficult time finding the motivation to do schoolwork when I find so much joy in doing other things.  I know a lot of people have problems finding motivation, but I really feel like I hate it.  Its not like I just want to sit around, but I don't feel like I'm learning anything from most of my classes. I have the hardest time writing poems and essays on policy that I don't even believe in, and its driving me insane. I know I should just suck it up and get through it, but I feel like I would rather cut off my little toe.  Really. I know I say this at the end of every year, but I honestly would prefer to make that deal with someone. Maybe I should toss it around in the English department and see how it goes. 

If only the sun would come out, then maybe I would feel a little better. Perhaps I have SAD. Or perhaps I'm just tired from waking up at 5, and have no energy for anything else. 

The end is so near, I just need to stick it out and hope for the best. 

I'm just hardcore.

Today was the 4th day this week that I got up for morning masters practice. Yesterday I meant to get up, but fell asleep after my alarm went off. Its pretty sweet, I already feel like after 1.5 weeks I've made significant progress.  Its nice to be swimming again, perhaps thats because I only have to go to one practice a day. Sometimes I think I should learn to keep my competitiveness under wraps- everyone thinks I'm the most competitive person alive (...they don't even know!). 

My senioritis is getting worse. Yesterday I went to talk to one of my professors about the "senior reading." Apparently, (unbeknownst to me) all senior writing majors are supposed to read something they wrote for everyone in the English department and their families the friday after classes are done. Of course, I didn't want to do that, because getting up in front of a huge group of people and reading stories that I hate is just my favorite thing to do... right. Anyway, my professor told me I was the first person in 20 years to refuse to do the reading, but I guess he understood after awhile. I just want to get out of here, the last thing I want to do is attend all these stupid events (I'm not doing the reading, or senior breakfast or baccalaureate) which is apparently SHOCKING! to everyone I meet. Everyone thinks I have problems because I don't view these events as positive. One of my other professors told me that we should have a chat because of this. Its obnoxious, I hate how everyone thinks that I should be gung-ho about my years at Whitworth, but in reality, I just want to get out of here as fast as I can. I have more exciting things going on. 

I'm not negative, I'm just honest and open with who I am. 

In other news, I bought a fun hair clip for my wedding that has pearls and Swarovski crystals in it, and think I have officially decided against wearing a veil. I got a cute and casual rehearsal dinner dress, and I hope it works out for me. Now, I just need jewelry suggestions... sigh. At least theres some positivity here. 

Am I just a cheapskate? Probably.

I was thinking, with the hairstyle I want, I'm not quite sure I can wear a veil. Is that weird? Maybe I'd just use a cool hair thing like this one: 7524large.jpg.

Its getting so close that I actually have to make decisions like this. Its ridiculous. 

Do I need a veil? What about an aisle runner? What do you even put on programs, do you have to have them? Do you have to have cake toppers on a cupcake cake? Should I really have a hair trial when I trust the person doing my hair (I'm cheap)?  Whose going to do the chair covers? Can I really just do what I want? Sigh. 

I also stress about money. We need to rent an apartment, but we don't exactly have high paying jobs. I brought in 433 dollars last month. Once we get past the first month of rent, we'll be fine money-wise, but its pretty overwhelming at this point. I hope Tim does well in the business plan competition, it would pretty much save our lives. 

A day in the life of someone who cares.

I meant to get up this morning and go swimming, but when my alarm rang, I just couldn't do it. I made it two days in a row so far... sad but true. And I only made it yesterday morning because I went to bed at 6pm the night before. Its not my fault, our premarital counseling lasted until 1030 last night, which means I didn't get to sleep until after 11, so its justified. 

Yesterday was my last day as a Ripples coach. Ripples are the youngest swimming group on the Waves, and mine was a preripples, which pretty much means the worst of the swimmers. I was kind of looking forward to this day, because Ripples are just a hard group to coach. Some improve and some don't AT ALL, and its somewhat depressing to coach them- I never feel like I make much progress.  Anyway, I was getting frustrated because all the little girls were whispering to each other and telling secrets during the entire practice yesterday because I thought they were keeping things from each other. Turns out, they were whispering about me.  Their parents and them all got together and planned a mini-party for my last day as their coach. They made cupcakes and brought juice boxes and a card and everything.  It was so sweet, and I wasn't expecting it, especially since I'm not the best Ripples coach (I easily lose my patience). It makes me realize the impact you have on the lives of little kids, even when you don't mean to, and it makes me sad to know that they really did enjoy having me as their coach. 

Luckily, leave it to Phi (one of the little boys I've had in my group since September) to bring me out of this "Oh, I don't want to leave my Ripples group now" funk.  He says, "Bye, whatever your name is."  I pretty much had to smile and laugh that one off. 

As I count the days down to graduating and getting married, this is the one and only thing I'm not looking forward to: saying goodbye to all the kids in my developmental group.  They honestly and truly make my day, and I hate the idea that someone else is going to coach them. Every single kid in that group tries their hardest, and I'm so lucky that they were my first coaching experience.

I am whatever I say I am.

Hi Laura, I got up this morning at 5 to go to Masters swimming! You should be so proud of me. I think I may do this to the end of school... I get all competitive with the old guys. 

Its actually kind of sweet, because then I don't have to do homework at night. I can just go to bed, wake up and go to swim practice, then have like forever and a year to do my homework (I don't have class until one..) The only downside is that I love sleeping, and thats kind of devastating, but perhaps I'll get over it. 

Only a month and 14 days until I'm a college graduate. My life will forever change.  There's some crazies in my classes who are like, "I'm so sad I'm leaving college and have to go out into the real world! Its so scary!" No, it is not scary, crazies, it is fun and exciting and way cooler than living the school life. You'd think that after 16 years of school, you'd be ready to move on and do something different, I sure know I am! 

I had a bridal shower. I would have never thought my bridal shower would be the way it was, but it was nice.  A little foofy and overwhelming, but it was fun, despite the fact that three of my good friends were unable to make it.  Although I enjoyed it, and it was very nice, I'm kind of glad my wedding isn't going to be like that.  I hope I feel so comfortable and not overwhelmed with people who aren't close to me.  I think I will though. I fantasize about being able to joke and be my obnoxious self, but alas, I think I will have to be polite and hug everyone. Perhaps I should make myself a sign that says, "I know you want to hug and stuff, but I don't like being touched."  I really don't like hugging people I'm not close to. I would prefer to handshake, I have a mean handshake. Its not light and delicate, its a real manly handshake. My father would be proud. I should have put that in the invitations, "Come prepared to shake hands with the bride!" And yes, I was hugged enough as a child, but I'm still not a fan. 

We're in the 50's now. The countdown officially begins. I don't know if I can handle all the excitement, I'm just too stoked. 

Now, it just needs to get warm outside.