Jenna, Strong and Mean, Hopes and Dreams

I swear Laura never read in college. I don't remember ever hearing about it, or perhaps I would have felt somewhat forewarned by my choice to be an English major. Alas, the deed has already been done and in 2 months I will never have to think about "The House of the Seven Gables" or "Wieland" again. I didn't read "Wieland," even though we had a week-long discussion of it. I wasn't an active participant.  It always amazes me how I am able to actively participate in a class conversation on a book I've never read.  Wikipedia is my guiding light, I suppose.  I don't think I'll read after I graduate. I think I'm throwing in the proverbial towel on reading, it being for saps and smart people. 

I doubt I'll quit writing though. Its funny how at some point on my journey down the English track I grew to hate writing.  I have recently discovered why.  I hate writing stories and poems.  I think stories and poems are for sissies that are way too in-tune with their emotions.  Sometimes I sit in my Poetry writing class and I hear people read their poems in their EMOTIONAL, soft voices, like their poems have so much meaning.  It makes me want to roll my eyes, stand up and yell, "Hey! You don't even know how obnoxious you sound!" And then cackle loudly.  I'm getting off-track.  I think its ironic how I'm a senior on the writing track, but have never been able to write anything fun (except for if you count my story for Fiction writing called, Boaz Strangeway, dedicated to my future dog).  In Essay writing this semester I've realized, wow, I like writing essays.  When you get to write about whatever you want, its sweet. I wrote about the death of morality, and realized I actually LIKE what I wrote, and LIKED doing it.  Then I turn to my next poetry assignment and have no idea what to actually say. I wrote a poem about how I can't write poems. It was sweet. 

I think there's so much more out there for me.  In the real world, no one will ask me to write a poem about self-realization, which makes that real world seem so bright and sunny. I look forward to gaining that kind of respect.  I also hope that I am able to be a real swim coach.  I always said I loved working with children, but didn't know what I could do besides teach (AND NO, I don't want to teach or get my masters, back up off me).  Coaching is my light in the dark.  Nothing makes me happier than when Adam Smith gets his bazillionth A time, hugs me and smiles, showing everyone all those teeth that will never grow back.  I keep thinking, well, maybe this is what God has planned for me.  Maybe when I wasn't paying attention God slipped one by me, who knows.  But I do know that I don't worry about what is planned for my life.  God has it under control, so I find no real reason to worry.  I'm going to either write scathing essays about the incompetence of politicians, or teach little ones how to swim.  Either way, He's probably got my back. 

Does God read blogs?